Oh, My Soul
Oh, my soul. I'm going back a few years now. This is about me and my wife, Jackie. What I’m about to tell you is impactful. It is as meaningful as the human experience can get. Certainly for me. I'll start with my wife. Her mother passed away five years ago this month. Because she loved and cared for her mother so much, of course, she was beyond devastated. Seven months later, her husband passed away. She went to bed, went to sleep and the next morning, she found his body lifeless. He was gone. She was absolutely and completely broken. There was no consoling her. Her grief virtually drove her to the grave.
Now I'll talk a little about me. It was just over four years ago that my wife passed away from cancer. It had been a long, painful almost two years of struggle, chemotherapy treatments, burning radiation, pills, prayers and the deepest of anguish. Eventually, regardless of my denials, hope and dogged determination to save her life - the ambulance came, took her away from our home, and she never returned. And – just like my wife – my mother died, too.
These were things neither of us had seen coming. There was no way we could remotely prepare ourselves for these deaths. For these life changing events.
Over the course of time, both still deep in anguish, we paid our respects to one another, acknowledging each other’s experience of crisis, loss and pain.
And then Jackie went the extra mile. She reached out and posted a song to me on social media. ‘Oh, My Soul’ by Casting Crowns. She shared this song to help me understand I was not alone and that something greater was moving in both of our lives. And it was destined to bring us even closer together. When I listened to this song, I broke down and cried. For I was shattered. I was broken. And Jackie witnessed to me that she was broken, too.
These are the lyrics to the song, ‘Oh, My Soul’ by Casting Crowns:
"Oh My Soul"
Oh, my soul Oh, how you worry Oh, how you're weary, from fearing you lost control This was the one thing, you didn't see coming And no one would blame you, though If you cried in private If you tried to hide it away, so no one knows No one will see, if you stop believing Oh, my soul You are not alone There's a place where fear has to face the God you know One more day, He will make a way Let Him show you how, you can lay this down 'Cause you're not alone Here and now You can be honest I won't try to promise that someday it all works out 'Cause this is the valley And even now, He is breathing on your dry bones And there will be dancing There will be beauty where beauty was ash and stone This much I know Oh, my soul You are not alone There's a place where fear has to face the God you know One more day, He will make a way Let Him show you how, you can lay this down I'm not strong enough, I can't take anymore (You can lay it down, you can lay it down) And my shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore (You can lay it down, you can lay it down) Can He find me here Can He keep me from going under Oh, my soul You are not alone There's a place where fear has to face the God you know One more day, He will make a way Let Him show you how, you can lay this down 'Cause you're not alone Oh, my soul You're not alone
I'll finish by saying that we know God brought us together. We were married on Easter Sunday, on April 4th 2021. We're about to celebrate 6 months of marriage. This is the most amazing time of my life. I love my wife so much. I appreciate her reaching out to me, letting me know I am not alone. I appreciate her extending her compassion while she suffered... while she was broken... to help me work through the damage I experienced... to help me while I was broken... for helping my daughter, Morgan, while she was broken.
Thank you for sharing this time with me. For hearing about my belief in God. Yes. I feel comfortable using that word to express my love for my Creator. Thank you for hearing about my belief in Jacqueline Raye Gloria Dover - my wife - my Sacred Beloved.
There are great things moving in all of our lives. Something great is moving in your life, too. Please... be quiet enough to hear it. To feel it. To see it. To understand it. Be patient with yourselves. For one day you will know. Believe.